Hold on to Her (Only Her Series Book 2) Read online

  Hold on to Her

  Olivia Stephen

  Copyright © 2018 by Olivia Stephen

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Editor: Jenn Wood, https://allabouttheedits.wixsite.com/editingproofingbeta

  Cover Designer: Alex Beeman

  Cover models: Alexandra Davis, Alex Beeman

  Formatting: Jessica Ames

  To Mom and Dad,

  I love you, always

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

  Also by Olivia Stephen

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Sarah

  Blood.

  There isn’t supposed to be this much blood.

  Pain.

  There isn’t supposed to be this much pain.

  Within seconds, I’m doubled over with cramps so intense, so dizzying, the thought of dying is at the forefront of my mind. It’s a pain like no other. Like a vice tightening around my middle.

  My arms rest on the edge of the toilet seat, holding me up before the next wave of nausea hits. More dry heaves.

  Breathe in. Breathe out.

  My eyes close again, the image of a beautiful baby girl surfacing. She’s stunning with pale skin and shiny, green eyes.

  I love you.

  “Oh my God, Sarah! What’s wrong? Jesus, you’re bleeding, sweetheart.” Mother’s scream jars me awake. Her footsteps are hurried as she makes her way to me, dropping to her knees. She cradles me like an infant, rocking me back and forth. I won’t get to hold my baby like this.

  “It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart. You’re gonna be okay. I’m going to get the phone to call for an ambulance, okay?”

  “I’m losing my baby.” Four words whispered and many tears shed. Four simple words and endless tears that will, no doubt, change me forever. “Please help me.”

  So much blood. So tired.

  I’ve lost Daniel. I’m losing my baby.

  It’s my last thought before the darkness consumes me.

  Chapter One

  Sarah

  Six Years Later

  Completely whacked.

  That’s all I can think when I rewind my brain to the last visit with my parents. I’m sitting here in the mid-town coffee shop, attempting to focus on the scent of freshly-brewed coffee and the blueberry muffins that have obviously just been pulled out of the oven, instead of how I bailed out of Mom and Dad’s before my sister arrived. Not even the tinkering of the coffee machines or the hum of quiet conversation can keep my mind from revisiting that fiasco. Mom continues to act as though nothing of any importance happened where my ex, Daniel, is concerned. She talks to him every day when she goes to watch my niece, Londyn. Every time she tells me about one of his corny jokes, my insides churn. When she babbles on about how wonderful he is, and that his degree from Duke and his new job will take care of Sydnee and the baby for years to come, it’s like she’s chipping away at my heart, piece by piece. Yet she doesn’t even realize how it affects me. Talk about head in the sand. It’s as though the past has been completely erased in her mind. But as long as big sister Sydnee is happy, that’s all that matters to her.

  The scowl on my face is going to become a permanent expression if I keep up these conversations with my mom. Anger boils up and the grip on my coffee cup nearly breaks it in two, and if the coffee cup doesn’t break, I’m going to have my long, wavy brown hair in knots if I keep twisting it.

  “You know that face is way too pretty to be wrinkled up in such a frown.” The deep, sexy voice that belongs to Liam snaps me out of my temporary misery as he waltzes over to my table and makes himself at home in the chair across from me, leaning his elbows on the table and folding his hands together. My stomach drops a few notches when I look at the sweet male perfection that is Liam Reynolds. His deep-set eyes scan my face, searching for something, although I don’t know what that would be.

  “Hey. Didn’t even see you come in.”

  “Obviously. Whatever you’re thinking sure has got you twisted up. You’re damn near ready to crack that coffee cup in half. You okay?”

  My head says that I will be eventually, but my heart tells a different story altogether. So, I do what I’ve mastered over the last several years. Avoid.

  “What are you up to today?” I ask.

  See? Avoid. I get better and better all the time.

  “Not much. On my way to the bar to meet with Cole and Zane. I saw your car parked outside, figured I’d stop. You still haven’t answered my question,” Liam prods, reaching over to take my hand. It makes me nervous when I think about how much I’m beginning to care for Liam, so I pull my hand back, wrapping it around the coffee cup, along with the other one. He’s been such a great friend to me that I don’t want to substantiate the feelings I have for him because all we’ll ever be is friends. He has the all-American family, while mine is...well, whacked. He has such a caring heart, and mine is locked up tighter than Fort freakin’ Knox.

  “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” I’m not sure I’ll ever be fine again.

  “Look. I’m here to listen. That’s what friends do, yeah? You’ve listened to me complain about Cole and all his women for the past however many months, so let me return the favor. You always pretend everything is okay, but I think I know better.” Besides the fact that he’s tall, chiseled, and oh-so-easy-on-the-eye, he’s also perceptive. So much so, he’s beginning to notice my avoidance behaviors and call me out on my shit.

  “You’re making this into something that it’s not, Liam. Sometimes visiting Mom is difficult, but I’m fine. Give me a day and I’ll forget all about it.” I’m doing my best to lie my way through this conversation, but I have a feeling Liam isn’t buying it.

  “So how about if I help you forget then. Let’s go to dinner and maybe hit the movies afterward. I’ll even let you pick the flick. What do you say?”

  “I’d say that sounds like a date.” I drag the coffee cup to my lips to take a sip of the warm drink, thinking of anything I can say to change the subject. I’d love to go on a date with Liam, but I know what will happen when my heart becomes invested in a relationship, and there is no way in hell I’ll go through that again. Liam is total boyfriend material and I don’t do the boyfriend thing. Besides, with the mood I’m in, I wouldn’
t want to stop at dinner and a movie. Getting lost in Liam would be a great way to forget.

  “What if it is?” His shoulders shrug as if it’s no big deal.

  For a brief moment, I let my mind wander and daydream about what it would be like to date this man. He’s been nothing but kind to me. He’s compassionate, hard-working, and talented, and I believe I mentioned the delicious and sexy part before. But that’s exactly what I thought about Daniel at the beginning of our relationship too, and what a disaster that turned out to be.

  Sadly, I shove those thoughts to the back of my mind. I can’t go there.

  “I don’t think so, Liam. Listen, I’m meeting Raina at the gym. I’ll just work out my issues pounding the treadmill…running helps,” I say light-heartedly, hoping he won’t notice the sadness in my voice at turning him down.

  “You’re getting good at running, Sarah,” he whispers as he stands to leave, but I hear every word.

  I’m already good at running.

  “Liam,” I call out.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’ll see you tonight at the pub?”

  “Yep. That’s what we do, right? Meet up at the pub.” The tiny bell above the door of the coffee shop dings a little too loudly as Liam leaves without saying goodbye.

  And I’m left sitting here...by myself. Again. But it’s what I’m used to. The way it needs to be.

  I grab my phone and shoot a text to Raina, telling her I’ll meet her at the gym in fifteen.

  Chapter Two

  Sarah

  “Liam will lose his mind, Sarah. My God, look at you!” Raina bounces on her tiptoes and all but screams when I emerge from the bathroom after getting myself ready for a girls’ night out after our workout at the gym. I’m trying to convince myself I haven’t put any extra time into my hair and make-up tonight, but it’s useless. Deep down, I know I have, and I know exactly the one reason why. Liam. I hate that I upset him this afternoon, but I’m not sure how to navigate this friendship when there’s an obvious attraction there. I’m getting the impression he wants more with me, but I just don’t do more.

  “Babe, I think Liam and I are really just friends, and maybe with benefits someday, but strictly friends. You do know my track record with the opposite sex, right?”

  “Will you let that go? Every girl has had her heart broken a time or two, so you’re no different. Just let him in. Not every man is a dick.”

  “I’m not worried about him being a dick. Just so long as he has a decent sized one,” I joke, as I finish my last gulp of wine, while Raina nearly spits hers out. I think she’s speechless. But it’s true, though. I don’t need a relationship. Just a man’s…man parts, and I’m good. Problem is, I seem more attracted to Liam than I’m comfortable with, so I’m not quite sure I could ever do the one-night stand thing with him.

  “You’re hopeless.” She rolls her eyes, grabs her purse, and opens my front door. “Let’s go. We’ve got more wine to drink.”

  The cold November air stings the exposed skin on my back where my black top dips low as Raina and I hustle into Sam’s. The scent of fried food and alcohol fills the air, and hearing the music as I stand just inside the doorway makes my stomach flop just a little. Why, all of a sudden, do I feel like this? Nothing has changed between Liam and me. But when I see him on the small elevated stage playing his acoustic guitar and singing, my heart suddenly skips a beat, and my breath seems to catch in my throat. His eyes close, losing himself in the music, and he looks gorgeous. I’m in serious trouble, I just know it. The other women sitting near the stage are every bit as captivated by him as I somehow seem to be recently. Or maybe it isn’t all that recent. Maybe all this time hanging around him, forging a strong friendship, has softened me just a bit. Either way, a tinge of jealousy hits when I think of him with one of those other skanks. That’s what I call the gaggle of bimbos that follows Liam and Cole everywhere they go.

  When I hear the beginning of the next song, I freeze...my feet are cemented in place. It’s a song I recognize far too well...Michael Ray’s “Get to You.” To hear Liam sing those lyrics is a punch to the gut. He has no idea why I run away from love.

  My damn feet need to move. I need to shake off the sinking feeling that’s overtaking me and focus on the bar, and the strong drink I may need tonight. I feel flushed, a little overcome with the sexiness that is Liam Reynolds, and the words he sings are like an arrow he shoots straight to my heart. It scares me to watch him stare right into my eyes as he sings that song. His face is expressionless. For a brief moment, there’s a hint of sadness passing over his eyes, but I turn quickly to avoid seeing anything else.

  Damn it.

  I lean in, whisper to Raina, and make a dash to the bathroom where I splash a bit of cool water on my cheeks in hopes of getting my emotions back under control. My reflection in the mirror stares back, reminding me to keep a lock-down on my feelings. No feelings, no relationships, no more than two dates, which is code for no more than twice in the sack with any man.

  Walking back toward the bar, I stop and smile at the sight before me.

  “Hey, babe.” Zane leans over the bar and lays a sensual kiss right on the puckered lips of my best friend. Those two are so in love. Jealous isn’t a feeling I’m too familiar with, but right now, that’s exactly how I feel, and it’s confusing. This isn’t me. I don’t do relationships. So why the hell do I look at theirs and wish it was me?

  A drink. That’s what I need. “Zane, Jack and Coke please, easy on the Coke. And hurry,” I say adamantly, taking my seat at the bar.

  “Sweetie, what is wrong with you? Jack and Coke?” Raina uses her whisper voice as she sits next to me.

  “I just need a drink. That’s all.”

  “And hurry,” I hear a deep, sexy voice whisper in my ear. “Isn’t that what you said?”

  My eyes close at the sound of his voice and it takes a second for my breath to catch up with the rest of me. His scent drifts across my nose and I breathe it in slowly. No man has ever affected me quite the way Liam does, and what’s scary is that he knows.

  “Um…yes. Hurry. I’m thirsty...now,” I reply, without even turning around. My chin lifts and my eyes focus straight ahead, feeling the need to regain some semblance of control. Liam’s hand rests on the bar stool, brushing against my back, causing my cheeks to flush pink, and my heart to speed up. Again. I can feel his thumb rubbing back and forth, causing goose bumps to rise on my arms, and sparks begin to come to life. So much for control. I’m about ten seconds away from losing it.

  He can’t do this to me.

  “You okay, babe?” comes the voice again, smooth like satin or silk, directly into my ear, so close the scruff on his chin brushes against my cheek. All I can think about is how it would feel on the insides of my thighs.

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” I turn and immediately come face to face with sex. Hot, sticky, sweet sex.

  Jesus.

  “Oh, I don’t know. You seem a bit nervous. Maybe a little jumpy,” he responds, a smirk playing with a full-fledged smile on his gorgeous face.

  Asshole.

  “I’m fine. Perfectly fine.” I turn back around to face the bar, nose in the air, only to find Zane, both hands on the bar top, head down as he chuckles.

  Asshole.

  “Zane, fix my damn drink. And hur...I mean, now,” I plead, with a hint of frustration in my voice. Perhaps embarrassment, as well. I swallow the lump in my throat in hopes of regaining some composure.

  Liam plants himself on the barstool next to mine, ordering his drink. “I’ll have what this beauty is having. And hurry.” Tonight is obviously irritate-the-hell-out-of-Sarah night because the three of them are having a blast at my expense.

  “What is wrong with you? And do you need to sit so close?” my voice nervously cackles and cracks.

  “One of these days, you’re going to let me get closer than this, sweetheart. You’re gonna stop running.”

  I’m stock-still for a minute and prepare to t
urn and let him have it, but all I see as I do is his firm, gorgeous ass as he walks away from me, Jack and Coke in hand. I stare at said ass as he catches up to Cole, the other part-owner of Sam’s and second half of the Liam and Cole duo. My eyes stay glued to him as he talks with Cole and the two air-headed bimbos with him. I squint when I see bimbo number two leaning in far too close to Liam.

  Swinging my head around with a huff, I catch sight of Raina glaring at me.

  “What?’ I grab my Jack and Coke and take a big swig, nearly spitting it out at the burn I didn’t realize I would feel. It’s a “match to gasoline” type burn, and it takes my breath away. I gasp, trying to pull oxygen into my lungs. Raina pats my back as she nervously calls out to Zane to get me some water.

  “Shit! Are you okay?”

  After the coughing and wheezing spell diminishes, I manage to get my voice back.

  “Wow. That’s, um, really good.”

  “Drink the water,” she says, shaking her head and handing me a full glass. “And Zane, get that shit away from her.” He dutifully takes the remainder of the drink and pours it out in the small sink behind the bar. Raina takes her seat beside me again as my breathing returns to normal and the fire down my throat is extinguished.